i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.