I think i sorta joined a cult last night
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
