The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize