Whod you bang
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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