Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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