Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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