I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
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