; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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