I love black thongs
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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