were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
