just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
