it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
