i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There r osticjed everywhere
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
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Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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