all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
how does that bad decision feel?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
