Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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