I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
