"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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