he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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