Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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