you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
