??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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