So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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