I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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