my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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