Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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