My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
