I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
