i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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