id be glad to
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
