I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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