this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
