I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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