it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
