sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize