try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
