wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
