So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
