sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
