yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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