Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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