it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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