shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
