I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
