Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
