There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We are all done wearing pants today
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
