porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
