The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
