discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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