he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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