Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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