I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize