i barfeds in our rink
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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