He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
