Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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