Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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