suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
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There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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