he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
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Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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