You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
