was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
