I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
