Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
this is an emotional support booty call
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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