The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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