She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
