I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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